Dangerous Lover (A Neon Genesis Evangelion Fanfiction)
by Nyo-Kun
Summary: After the death of Kaworu Nagisa, Shinji is devastated, how could someone who said "liked him" turn out to be one of the enemy? Meanwhile, Misato back at home is getting heat of this drama as well. What can Misato do to make Shinji feel better?
1. Grief

Evangelion: "Dangerous Lover"

**(DISCLAIMER: THIS STORY TAKES PLACE AFTER EPISODE 24 OF THE ORIGINAL SERIES! SPOILERS TO ANYONE WHO HASN'T SEEN THE SHOW! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! ?)**

**Chapter 1: Grief**

Rapid sounds of a "CRUNCH!" and "SPLASH!" as something entering the LCL below a giant purple mechanical creature is echoed throughout the entirety of the area. All was well...but at what cost to the pilot? At what cost to not the entirety of humanity, but just HIS humanity?

He hated what he did, he hated what he had to do, and right now, he hated being alone. Shinji Ikari moped around in his apartment bedroom, trying to drown out the mess of a world he was in with his usual music...but it did little to mitigate the pain. He took his headphones off, paused his player, sat up in his bed and looked over at his clock; 3:36 A.M.

"...The same time again…" he said quietly and coldly.

He moved over to his window to look outside. He found it boring, sure hardly anyone was out, but the city looked so...empty to him.

After looking out of the window for a few moments he got out of bed and wandered into the living room, it was quiet and dark, no lights were on and not a single soul was in sight. He went into the kitchen to get himself a little snack to eat, a little bag of chips wouldn't anybody he supposed. He guessed he must've been too loud opening the bag or something once he heard the nearby bedroom door open from down the hall just a little bit, and a bed-ridden Misato coming out, she stopped once she noticed him sitting at the table.

"You're up early." she teased him with a tired-sounding voice.

"I-I was just heading back to bed after this." Shinji stuttered a little in a semi-caring voice.

Misato rummaged through for a little snack as well just settled on microwave dinner, she opened it and put in the microwave and started the timer, then looked back at Shinji, who sat with his hands in his hair, almost in a distressed way. Misato wasn't an idiot, and she picked up on it right away.

"It's him, isn't it?" she asked directly.

"Misato...I-I didn't want to kill him..h-he didn't want to hurt anyone he was just-"

"Trying to take fuse with Adam and destroy humanity? Would you rather have had us all die than kill one boy? He was an angel, Shinji!" Misato interrupted.

"No! He was different! He said...he said that he liked me. Nobody has ever said that to me before." Shinji argued.

"Shinji, you did the right thing! You should be happy with what you did! Your father would be-" Misato tried to object back before being interrupted once again

"Don't bring him into this! I don't want to hear anything about him! All he's done is use me for his own gain, I'M STILL NOTHING TO HIM! HE DOESN'T CARE" Shinji yelled back, he was growing more frustrated

"Keep it down, Shinji! I'm sorry for mentioning him. But. we have neighbors!" she warned at him in a hushed voice as she turned the light on in the living room.

Shinji put his hands to his face, perhaps to hide it from Misato with the imminent tears. He felt awful, awful about being a hero, awful about piloting the Eva, awful about everything he had gone through...and eventually it all became too much as he did proceed to cry.

Misato walked over to comfort him, trying to help the suffering Shinji in any way she could...but she was pushed away just like before. The moment she reached out to touch him, to comfort him, he jerked away.

"No, Misato!" he yelled as he jerked, shortly after going back to sobbing and wallowing in his sadness and guilt.

"Shinji...you have to let others help you! If you feel pain, others can make you feel better! You don't have to face everything alone, you don't have to be alone, that's why I brought you here in the first place. You don't have to live with the pain alone..." Misato explained to him, almost like a mother to her son

Shinji sat for a few moments in his thoughts, thinking about what he had done to him...to Kaworu Nagisa. Then, he remembered the bath...the warmth of it, the relaxing feeling...and the words that Kaworu had said…


	2. Water

**Chapter 2: Water**

A moist mist filled the air of the bathroom, it was warm, peaceful, just the sounds of the water drifting slightly in the bath.

The two sat next to each other, soaking in the hot water and the atmosphere...and the company of each other. However, there was a bit of an awkward silence, neither of the two saying a word.

Finally, the words from the silver-haired, soft-voiced boy pierced the silence, like a blade into flesh in a speech-like way.

"Are you afraid of connecting with other people? If you never get close to others, you may never be betrayed and you will never hurt each other. However, then you will also never be able to forget how lonely you are. Humans can never truly get rid of their loneliness forever, being a human being means being alone. But, humans fortunately have the ability to forget their loneliness and are then able to go in their lives."

Shinji looked over to Kaworu in fascination, he was all too right about his inner feelings...but it was unfortunate that Shinji still did not really want to change.

He felt something on top of left hand, he twitches his hand a bit and gasps, blushing at the sudden push of...compassion? Love?

_*The lights fade out in the bathroom, turning the place a very beautiful dark shade of blue*_

"Looks like it's time to get out." Shinji states.

"That certainly went by quick." Kaworu scoffs.

"I guess it's time to head off to bed." Shinji tells.

"With me?" Kaworu asks innocently.

"N-no! I mean. I-I'm sure you have your own room that they gave you." Shinji stumbles to say, surprised at such a question.

"Oh, I see. Humans always feel pain in their hearts. Because their hearts are very sensitive to pain, they also feel that living is suffering. You're quite fragile, Shinji, like glass, especially in your heart." Kaworu speeches.

"W-wait, me?" Shinji says rather confusedly

"Yes, my sympathies come to you." Kaworu says in a tender, caring way.

"Your sympathy?" Shinji questions

Kaworu does a slight laugh, noticing that Shinji hasn't picked up on the meaning of his words yet.

"Oh, Shinji, that means I that I like you." He says finally, openly and sweetly with a smile that rivaled the Rei's own that Shinji had seen some months back.

Shinji smiles, his cheeks slightly turning red at such beautiful words of kindness.

_*Misato's apartment fades back into view*_

"...I see. So, he...liked you." Misato says understandably.

"N-no...I think he meant more than that…" Shinji said back.

Shinji stood up and walked out towards the balcony, Misato cleaning up his bowl that he left on the table and following out with him afterwards.

"It's nice to be out here and not have to worry about all the noise, isn't it, Shinji?" Misato asks casually.

"Yeah...yeah it is." He responds.

Shinji feels Misato's arms wrap around him, not in an inappropriate way, that would violate the promise that Misato had mad to Ritsuko all those months ago. This was just comfort for tonight at least...


End file.
